I received 71 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is

Poorly written article proposes that Hillary's being a bitch is a good thing

Argov's poorly thought piece is an example of pure Clintonian drivel. It all depends on what the definition of "bitch" is. She doesn't want to admit that the word has more than one meaning, so she assumes that "bitch" only means "good and tough." But it also means "female asshole."

It's not a question of whether Hilllary is a b--ch, but to whom* and why. Hillary is a b--ch for her own benefit, not for the benefit of those she represents.**

I'm 100% certain that Margaret Thatcher was called a b--ch (definition: complimentary) tough, good leader) because she was tough when the situation demanded it. This is being "tough," although Argov intends to confuses the reader by equating it with acting like a b--ch. (i.e."Tough women are often called b--ches, and HC is often called a b--ch, therefore, she must be a tough leader and hence, would be good for the country.")

Hillary's problem is that she is a b--ch when being a b--ch isn't necessary. She's a b--ch (definition: (insult) selfish, mean, vile, petty, power-hungry person. Female asshole) to satisfy her own purposes.

Bonus: She is also Bill's b--ch (definition: fool) for putting up with his multiple public daliancesand not leaving him as a good, self-respecting woman would have. And hilariously, he is her b--ch in return. What a good, healthy relationship that one is.


* In the last 15 years HC has been a bitch to
a) her political enemies,
b) the military,
c) anyone who opposes her,
d) anyone she has no further use for,
e) her staff and "underlings." (That's always a good sign, isn't it? Being cruel to those beneath you?)

** Argov assumes that if elected, she'd suddenly turn the power of her bitchness against our enemies, who are
a) Islamo-fascists, to whom she sometimes joins with other Dems in giving moral support with their "anti-Bush's war" diatribes and demands for a "surrender" date,
b) the Chi-coms, to whom her husband gave the military technologies for multiple-warhead missiles and non-cavitating propellers for submarines and from whom much money flows,
c) North Korea, to whom Bill gave nuclear technology, so long as they pinky-swear-promised not to build the nuclear weapons they now have, and
d) internal enemies like the 16 FALN and Mecheteros(sp?) gang members Bill pardoned to help her gain votes in NY.


No. If elected, she'll stay the same as she always has been: friendly to whoever can
help her with money, power, or votes. And she'll still be a b--ch to anyone in her way, or simply because she has the power to be an arbitrary b---h.

But Argov believes that once elected she'll turn 180 degrees and be a b--ch for the benefit of the country and not herself. Argov is an idiot. To answer the rhetorical question in her book's title, some men marry "b--ches" for the same reason some women marry jerks. They're stupid and have no self-respect.

A point-by-point rebuttal of Argov's insipid "ettiquette for bitches":
* Remember that each time you are called a bitch on the campaign trail... it means that some other poor woman is getting a break from being called one.
SO... I CAN'T USE THE SAME PEJORATIVE ON TWO PEOPLE ON THE SAME DAY? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. HARRY REID IS AN IDIOT. OOPS, SO MUCH FOR "ARGOV'S FIRST LAW OF INSULTS."

* Lead with compassion for your male counterparts. Many still suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and night sweats, even though it's been decades since the feminist movement.
HC HAS AS MUCH COMPASSION AS A NILE MONITOR, BUT ISN'T AS WARM-HEARTED.

HERE'S A SURPRISE FOR YOU, ARGOV: MOST MEN I KNOW (MINUS THE EFFEMINATE ONES) ARE BOTHERED BY YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" LESS THAN WE ARE BY 1920's PROHIBITION. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S EVEN LESS RELEVENT TO US THAN PROHIBITION, WHICH ENDED SEVEN DECADES AGO. GET OVER YOURSELF.

* Wear skirts often. It'll flummox them even more.
NOW I'M SCARED. THAT'S MORE FRIGHTENING TO A HEALTHY MAN THAN YOU EVER DREAMED YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" WAS.

And one final word from the trenches. Being a woman who is running for office is sometimes threatening to those who aren't used to seeing women be productive outside the kitchen and the laundry room. The good news is, they'll adjust. Ain't that a bitch?
I THOUGHT I DISAPPROVE OF HC BECAUSE SHE'S DESPICABLE AS A PERSON AND AS A POLITICIAN. THANKS FOR SHOWING ME THAT FACT ABOUT MYSELF, LITTLE LADY. NOW GO GET ME A BEER.

Shippensburg University red-lighted for free speech violations.

See the Free Speech Widget on the sidebar for Shippensburg University. Does Ship believe in political free speech for everyone or just those who agree with the University?

Oh, come on. What do you think the answer is going to be?

A Duran Duran song for K-Lo at NRO

This morning was somewhat musical "Down on The Corner" at National Review.com

Derb rewrote a Hank Williams song and Andrew Stuttaford referenced an old Pink Floyd title.

I thought of this as a quick joke because K-Lo is a Duran Duran nut, but it turned into an entire song.

If you like this, feel free to copy it, but please link here and give credit to The Carnivorous Duck.

"Rio '07"
Dedicated to the Queen of Conservative Cool, Kathryn Jean Lopez

Movin' 'cross the river, now you're headin' for paradise.
Border agents hobbled? Si, that's very nice.
With a lift from the left and a boost from the right,
You're ready to go get wet.
You know you're treated special; your amnesty will get through yet.

Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand,
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.

I-C-E won't chase you and border guards will flee,
Bush and Sutton's actions make it all too plain to see.
Anchor babies and ER rooms; everything for free.
You know that's how the pols think your life should be.

Hey now (dios mio!) Mira! Run that border agent down!
In a weekend or two, your lawyers will sue
As if the victim was you, was you, was you!!!!

Hey, take your chance 'cause Bush is on your side.
I wanna know something, just what is he thinking?
I'm telling you something, we know what they're thinking.

Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand.
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.

Her name is Rio Grande; she's running through the sand.
She used to be a border between two different lands.
Oh Rio, Rio, see them rushing across the land.
To get their handouts, taken from the common man.

(Bonus stanza)
Her name is Rio, necissito comprehende
If you get across, the perks are never-ending
And if they dare to try to send you home,
They'll end up doing time just like Ramos and Compean.

Copyright 2007 The Carnivorous Duck. All rights reserved.

Alarm Clocks Are Melting the Planet!

Following Rev. Al's lead on banning the light bulb for the unwashed masses, I think we should outlaw the electric alarm clock. They are a criminal extravagence when 4 polar bears drowned in one month a while back (proving that they're all dying because of global warming).

Look at all the electricity we waste when we could be using wind up clocks for the same purpose. As soon as Al Gore invests in a wind-up clock company, he'll start pushing for bans on clocks...
just like he pushes for cap and trade on "carbon" when he started and is still a principal in a company that makes tons of money on thios "carbon trading."

Oh, and Bush is no longer in the oil business, but he started a war just for his friends to make money. No rational person can think anything different, right? But it's perfectly fine for Gore to make money on a policy he's pushing that would limit your and my ability to freely live our lives the way we want. But then again, we're just the unwashed masses and we don't matter to people like Gore. We're here to obey our "betters."

The Night the Lights Went Out In... Everywhere

That's right, your betters have decided you shouldn't be allowed to use your nice, bright incandescent light bulbs. You should use pale, flickering fluorescents instead, because incandescents are causing GLOBAL WARMING!!!!

Did you know that Naval candidates in flight school are FORBIDDEN to study with fluorescent lights because they damage your vision? Something tells me Gore and his family would be allowed to use incandescents because "their ocular health is important for getting the word out that incandescent bulbs are killing the earth and everything on it." No hypocrisy there, of course.

LED lights could also replace incandescents. The one I have for my bike doesn't give a very good spectrum of light... it just leaves you feeling that some light is missing. Mine's a cheapy, so expensive ones might be better, of course.

Here's an opinion pieceon World Net Daily. Farah mentions some things without documentation (i.e., that Phillips is campaigning for this change also, possibly because fluorescents are more profitable than incandescents--and I'd like to see mention of public or private records showing this).
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54815


Here's an NPR piece that mentions Gore asking Congress to ban the light bulb
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9072304

Alec Baldwin On The Global Catastrophe Of Global Cooling

I was in Cleveland these past few days for a quiet holiday period. I flew out of town on Sunday, April 8th. 32 degrees in Cleveland. On April 8th. People walking around in winter coats. This is undeniable proof that Man-Made Global Cooling is going to kill us if we don't immediately get rid of everyone who I disagree with politcally.

There is no spring in the East right now. No April flowers in April for the first time since 1877.
All around us are signs of global climate change. And this new Congress's response is to send Nancy Pelosi to Syria to speak for the Israeli Prime Minister. If you don't think there is a link between the weather and Iraq, you are wrong.

A Manhattan Project-esque assault on US energy policy is what is required now. Our country must lead the way in global energy strategies that will, somehow, convince countries like China not to spend decades to come burning trillions of tons of fossil fuels to grow their economies in the way we did. It is the most important work we can do now, on par with "fighting terrorism."

But this crowd will do nothing to begin that process. All they will do is ignore the meaning of the mid-term election and sprint in the direction of prolonging this war. Their goal, obviously, to pass this mess on to their unfortunate successors in '08.

Nancy has it all right. Time is up. And this is not a loss for Americans and their brave fighting men and women. This is Rumsfeld's War. And like McNamara before him, he will carry that burden on his shoulders long into our country's history. And if we have to put words in other leaders' mouths to force them into peace talks, then that's what we have to do, just like parents have to trick children into eating their peas.

A lot of talk about what the Dems should do now that they are at the wheel. Two people this Congress should not let up on. Rice, obviously. Can't let the opportunity slip away to persecute Rice for not trying to bring Syria and Isreali to the peace table. The other is Olmert.

This Congress needs to send a strong signal, and that is that obedience is important in politics. (Did Olmert really think that we could forgive him for not taking Nancy's lead in the talk for peace?) Olmert needs to go to the shed. For a very long time. Gotta get his mind, right. And when he comes out, ask him, "Are you going to obey Nancy? Are you going to obey your betters? Or aren't you?"

Thank God for Nancy.

Nancy Pelosi Tells Adolf Hilter That Churchill Is Committed to "Peace In Our Time"

Nancy Pelosi to Adolf Hitler:

"I have just spoken with Prime Minister Winston Churchill, and he has told me he is ready to open peace talks with you to avoidwar in our time. He pledges that they will not fight you onthe beaches, he will not fight you on the landing fields,he will not fight you in the hills... or in the streets. He willnever give up relying on peace talks."

Store Ad Says Easter Celebrating Christ's Birth

I wonder what they think Christmas celebrates? LOL

A supermarket chain got itself into a huge muddle over the meaning of Easter yesterday in its attempt to sell more chocolate eggs.

“Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million on Easter eggs this year — but many young people don’t even know what Easter’s all about,” said the press release from Somerfield after a survey.

It then went on to claim that the tradition of giving Easter eggs was to celebrate the “birth” of Christ. An amended version changed this to the “rebirth” of Christ. Finally a third press release accepted Church teaching that Easter celebrated the resurrection of Christ.

Tacoma Bills Military For Anti-War Protest Costs

It'd be cheaper for the military just to shoot the stupid bastards next time. In a perfect world, Tacoma would be told either 1) bill the idiots (the protesters and their organizers, probably ANSWER, code pink, etc.) whose presence cost you the money, or 2) let them do what they want the next time so they end up in military courts and military prisons.

Tacoma police say last month's 12-day anti-war protests cost the city an unbudgeted $500,000 to provide a large-scale law enforcement presence.

The rough estimate covers overtime, regular compensation, equipment and food for hundreds of workers from Tacoma police and other agencies, Assistant Chief Bob Sheehan said.
The city plans to ask the Port of Tacoma and the military to cover some of the costs.

"That's a tremendous hit on our budget -- a half-million dollars of unexpected expense," said Tacoma Mayor Bill Baarsma, adding that the military would get the first invoice."I think our request is justifiable," Baarsma said. "I would expect that we would be reimbursed. I would be surprised if we weren't."

Naming Your Baby Metallica Not Allowed In Sweden

Other band-based baby names"
Nirvana (if it's a girl, it'll mark her as 'easy')
Iron Maiden (more interesting songs than Metallica, but not as good as a baby name)
Cream (dooms baby to sexual innuendo jokes for life, but gives you the option to name a sibling Coffee)
Jethro Tull (I know, I know. It's already been done)



STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.

Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.

"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."

Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."
Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."

The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.

The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.
"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.

More Rosie Doubters.... the Fiends!!!!

Jonah Goldberg on Rosie's latest conspiracy theories

You may be unfamiliar with such psych-ward stylings [Jonah had just reprinted some of her "free verse text message poetry,"] but I get e-mail written like this all the time. Perhaps if you believe the jackbooted thugs are at your door, it’s reasonable to think you don’t have time to spell out your words.

...For the record, fire can melt steel, and buildings also collapse when heat weakens steel. But that misses the point. The point is we shouldn’t have to argue with crazy people.
Regardless, it appears that not even the heat of ridicule can weaken O’Donnell’s steely resolve to make an idiot of herself.

You know what? That’s fine. Normally we expect such outbursts from the poor souls who rage against unseen threats at bus stations and public libraries. But even the rich and famous have a right to mutter inanities, shout non sequiturs or shriek possum recipes.

Keith Richards Snorted His Father's Ashes

Stones guitarist mixed remains with cocaine — ‘it went down pretty well’

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

“He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said, adding that “it went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”
Richards’ father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

Richards, one of rock’s legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.

“I was No. 1 on the ‘who’s likely to die’ list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list,” Richards said.

BBQ Tax: To Help Fight Global Warming

This might be a parody story, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't stay fictitious for long. They can stab two hated activities at once here; using fuel and eating animals.

Belgium to impose tax on barbequing to fight global warming
12:27 03/ 04/ 2007
BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) -
The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported. Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.

The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills. Scientists believe CO2 emissions are a major cause of global warming. [HERE ENDS THE STORY]


If the "GW Crowd" have their way, this would be just the beginning. I'd already made up a list of 'ridiculous' measures to take to prevent Global Warming, and this story gave me a good reason to list some of them.

1. Mileage Taxes if you go over a mandated number of miles per week or per trip. It will be fun "saving up miles" to go and visit your grandparents.

2. Meat Tax. Bovine flatulance is killing the earth. But more tractors plowing more fields for vegetarians won't be a problem.

3. Product Distance Tax. Every product will be taxed on the distance it travels from production to consumer... transportation is killing the environment.

4. Odometer Reporting Service. The ORS will become as hated as the IRS, as citizens will have to report how far they've driven their cars. (same as Mileage Tax above, but I just thought of the ORS idea and am too lazy to rewrite that entry).

5. Internet Usage Tax. Yes, sending emails takes energy, which is mostly provided by coal power plants in the US. And sending attachments takes more energy than text only emails. I heard a while back that to send a 2Mb attachment in 2001 or 2002 took a pint of gasoline, but I haven't found that information again. Don't consider this to be accurate until I've dug up that old article. But the important thing is... how much energy could we save by limiting citizen's internet usage? "Net Neutrality" be damned.... the Internet Usage Tax is what will kill the internet (or at least kill people's ability to use it as much as they want to).

And on down the road....
6. Each car trip must have a "Driving Plan" filed with a government agency stating reason for trip, estimated time of departure and return, and the expected route. If you stray from the shortest route and get caught, you'll be in big trouble for emitting too much "carbon" into the air.

Top Ten April Fool's Day Pranks

From BreitBart.com, a list of the top ten hoaxes as listed by the Museum of Hoaxes in San Diego (The best hoax is the fact that the San Diego hoax museum is actually in San Mateo ;-)

From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.
Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.
-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.
-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.
-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.
-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.
Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.
-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.
-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.
-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.
-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.
-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.
-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.

UK Police Go After 11-yr-old Boy For Calling Classmate Gay

Police send four police officers after boy, 11, who called schoolmate 'gay'

The boy says he used "gay" as a synonym for "stupid," which is the new slang.
Who knows if that's the truth or not... be either way, sending four bobbies after an 11-year-old? That was meant to send a message to remind everyone else not to commit such thoughtcrimes. Of course, regular old crimes are perfectly fine. The boy's father:
"I've constantly contacted police about break-ins at my business and never get a suitable response.

"George was really upset, he thought he was going to be locked up. This just seemed like a huge waste of resources for something so trivial."

By LIZ HULL - Last updated at 10:44am on 2nd April 2007

When two policemen turned up unannounced at Alan Rawlinson's home asking to speak to his young son, the company director feared something serious had happened.

So he was astounded when the officers detailed 11-year-old George's apparent crime - calling one of his schoolfriends 'gay'.

They said primary school pupil, George, was being investigated for a 'very serious' homophobic crime after using the comment in an e-mail to a 10-year-old classmate.

National Review Online's Jonah Goldberg says, "Maybe if the [Iranian] hostage takers could be tricked into calling Blair gay, we might see some action?"

English Teachers Drop the Holocaust To Avoid Offending Muslims

This is lunacy, and it doesn't bode well for the future of Western civilization
in the United Kingdom.

Schools are dropping the Holocaust from history lessons to avoid offending Muslim pupils, a Governmentbacked study has revealed.

It found some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial.

Read more

Rosie O'Donnell's Insight Leads to Hundreds of Steel Execs Being Charged With Fraud

Sources: Hundreds to be Arrested in Steel Industry Fraud

New York (Rooters) --
Rooters has learned that hundreds of steel company executives will be indicted in what sources at both the US Justice Department and the SEC say may be one of the biggest acts of business fraud in US history.According to the sources, authorities, acting on a tip from renowned metallurgical expert Rosie O'Donnell, discovered that fire could not melt steel.

"Who knew," asked one SEC official who requested anonymity. "Without Rosie O'Donnell's keen insight, who knows how long this fraud would have gone on," commented another official."

These lousy bastards in the steel industry from Carnegie on down have perpetrated a fraud on the investing public and the world on a scale unseen in the history of human civilization," said the official.

Godzilla Vs. Bambi, Rosie O'Donnell Edition

In the Grand Tradition of Socrates V. Dopey... [Jonah Goldberg]

and Godzilla V. Bambi, Mike Tyson V. Pee Wee Herman, and
Patton V. Barbra Streisand I bring you Popular Mechanics V. Rosie O'Donnell.

Carjacker Beaten By 6-Year-Old Girl, Going to Jail

This guy's time in prison ain't gonna be fun for him, but oh, just thinking about it makes me laugh. Coincidentally, he looks a lot like a dumbass I used to work with.

The family's car was wrecked, but Ellen Degeneres gave them a new one when they appeared on her show.

The carjacker who was fought off by a schoolbook-wielding 6-year-old girl earlier this month in Allapattah has been arrested, Miami police said Friday.

Erick Fuentes, 34, has been charged with carjacking, kidnapping, aggravated battery and battery.

With her fists and the schoolbook Sarah's Unicorn, Briana beat on the carjacker until he stopped the car and ordered the children out.

John Travolta Thinks We Should Move To Another Planet (But Until Then You Should Cut Back On Your Energy Usage)

Barbarino proves not all Hollywood types are idiots.
(And I'll bet 20 bucks this shows up on South Park in some manner.)

John Travolta, Scientology & The Global Warming Solution
By StaffMar 30, 2007
John Travolta [who owns five jets. FIVE jets] has revealed his bizarre solution for global warming - move to another planet. The actor, who is a follower of Scientology, thinks the only way mankind may be able to survive the impending environmental disaster is to colonise another world.

Travolta - who infuriated environmentalists by flying his private jet to the London premiere of his new film 'Wild Hogs' - told BANG Showbiz: "I think that everyone can do their bit, but I'm wondering if we have to start thinking about other planets and also domed cities, because I don't know if there's a way to repair these holes in the sky."

Despite his concerns, the 53-year-old actor - who owns and flies his own Boeing 707 - doesn't plan to cut down on his own carbon emissions by flying less.

He said: "The thing is, I use them as a business tool. Maybe aviation will move into not contributing to those factors, but for the next 50 years, at least, that will be a fact."

The founder of Scientology, American science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard, claimed that extra terrestrial beings were sent to Earth by intergalactic ruler Xenu, who then blew up the aliens with hydrogen bombs in a volcano.

If There's Going To Be A 50-Foot Robot of Any Musical Figure Roaming Around In the Dessert, It Had Damn Well Better Be Iron Maiden's Eddie

Maybe we could have both of them and let them fight it out in the desert like in Transformers or the classic 1990 movie Robot Jox and its 1993 sequel Robot Wars (which I still haven't seen yet, curses!!!).

Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.
On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Some yong attention-seeker went and got himself suspended or sent home from school for dressing like a pirate at school, and he's claiming religious persecution.

I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it's mildly amusing... and probably not much more than "mildly."

Mexico City Program Unveils Program To Increase Thefts

I wonder if you can turn in an Xbox for a gun if you promise to take it out of Mexico City? Now that'd be a "turn-in" program I could support.

I'm sure they make the criminals promise not to steal more guns to turn in.

Mexico City is offering to give an Xbox video game console anyone who turns in a gun:
Police who have raided vice-ridden Mexico City neighborhoods in a push against drug violence hope to take guns off the streets by offering to swap them for computers and video-game consoles.

Launching the program Tuesday in the notorious inner-city barrio of Tepito, which police stormed last month, city police chief Joel Ortega said anyone who turns in a high-caliber weapon like a machine gun will get a computer.

Owners can swap smaller guns for cash or Microsoft Corp.'s Xbox video-game consoles under the plan.

I would, of course, prefer to see folks taking out virtual baddies in Halo than fellow citizens on the city streets. But, as Techdirt points out, the plan is likely to backfire:
The hope is that this will get guns off the street, reducing crime. Of course, it could just mean that folks with guns will now be stealing more guns in order to get an Xbox while keeping a gun on the side (just in case).

Cell Phones, What Are They Good For? Huh! Say It Again!!

My favorite cranky Englishman, John Derbyshire, on cell phones:

Am I the last person in the world not to own a cell phone? I noticed at the airports, on the plane, in the streets, two people out of three are talking into cell phones, or fiddling with those little things with minuscule writing on teeny screens with teeny-tiny keys that go about three to the average adult fingertip. How d'you use those things?

And what do people say into their cell phones? They tell each other where they are and what they're doing, that's what. I rode in a shuttle from La Guardia parking lot to the terminal next to a middle-aged woman with a cell phone. She dialed up. "Hey! Just thought I'd give you a call. ... I'm in the shuttle, going to the terminal. ... Right. ... OK, see you in a few days. Bye!" Then she dialed someone else and told her the same thing. I've been having visions of the rest of this woman's day. "Hi! I'm in the departure lounge..." "Hey! How's it going? I just got on the plane..." "Whassup? I got caught short—I'm in the bathroom voiding my bowels..." Is this what the human race has come to?

Guinness Bubbles

Yes, the bubbles in a pint of Guinness travel downward. Leave it the the Irish to devise such a unique phenomenon.

7-Legged Deer Found in Wisconsin, Dec 13, 2006

I feel sorry for this poor creature. And if I were this guy, there's no way this side of hell I'd have eaten the deer!


FOND DU LAC, Wis. — Rick Lisko hunts deer with a bow, but got his most unusual one driving his truck down his mile-long driveway.

The young buck had nub antlers – and seven legs. Lisko said it also had both male and female reproductive organs. ...

"It was definitely a freak of nature," Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."

When he looked at the animal, he noticed three- to four-inch appendages growing from the rear legs. Later, he found a smaller appendage growing from one of the front legs.

"It's a pretty weird deer," he said, describing the extra legs as resembling "crab pinchers."

Chimps Recorded Using Pointy Sticks As Food-Gathering Weapons

Make all the Planet of the Apes / Charlton Heston jokes you want. Personally, I won't be worried until they start making crude flintlocks.

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - Researchers have witnessed a chimpanzee skewering a lemur-like creature for supper, but it's unclear whether the spectacle was a bit of luck or an indication that chimps have a more advanced ability to hunt than was thought.

"It's not uncommon to have chimps use tools. But to use them in the context of hunting" is nearly unheard of, she said.

[Carnivorous Duck: This following part makes the story even more interesting...]

Pruetz said the practice is most common among adolescent females, ages 10 to 13, which must compete against physically superior males.

"It's a way of accessing protein or meat that is a creative solution to this problem," she said.

I Hate the Reaction Phrase "That's Gotta Hurt"....

But it applies very aptly here.

http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/bestoftv/2007/03/23/cooper.elephant.attack.cnn

Jeff Corwin's arm + an uncomfortable elephant's mouth = world of hurt.

My Favorite Picture of Hillary

"... as the soldier pictured with Senator Clinton (who asked that we not identify him by name) told us that he employed the gesture to indicate that he was not a fan of the senators and was not as appreciative of having the opportunity to meet (and pose with) her as it might otherwise appear."

Am I the only one who thinks the soldier's statement above is using more than a little use of classic understatement? ;-)

I've Found My Candidate For 2008

And he's only in high school. Tell me you wouldn't vote for this guy. He's thought of everything.

Watch out for that first step; It's a dooozy.

This looks like a picture from a children's story book. When I was little we had a storybook about a steam engine that dug a hole for a new building but then found that it hadn't left itself a way to get out. Of course it was given a nice, cushy new life as the heating plant for the new building because children's tales should have happy endings. That's the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this photo.

This two story building belongs to a Chinese couple who don't think they were offered fair compensation for their property and refused to sell. The developers called their bluff and started excavating around them. They're now thirty feet above the floor of the pit. While the individualist American has to admire their pluck, I also think they're fools for not taking the amount they were offered.

"Wu was offered 20 million yuan ($2.6 million) in compensation or two higher floors in the planned new building -- both of which she turned down because she wanted lower levels in the building so she could run her restaurant." Link

Spy vs. Spy And a Trojan Horse "Computer Virus" From 1982

Awesome Cold War espionage story... even more entertaining considering that no deaths or even injuries were reported...


http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=829

"KGB officials inserted an agent to abduct the [pipeline control] technology from a Canadian firm. Unbeknownst to the Soviet spies, the software they stole sported a little something extra: a few lines of computer code which had been inserted just for them.

"In spite of the massive energy that was released when the line ruptured and ignited there were no injuries or deaths reported. An example of a pipeline ruptureBut the Soviet economy itself was severely injured by the blast. When investigators in the USSR eventually discovered that the event had been triggered by sabotaged software, the KGB leadership were furious, but unable to lodge any official protest regarding the deliberate defect since that would also expose their own large-scale espionage efforts.

"Upon realizing that the CIA was serving imitation intelligence, the other recent problems with US-derived designs were no longer so mysterious. Given the dramatic results of the pipeline bug, all of the burgled Western technology was immediately cast under suspicion, a situation which mired the Soviet's borrowed progress in a pit of uncertainty and suspicion."

Those 5-Legged Frogs? Not Necessarily Caused By Pollution After All

Here's the article on the web site Damn Interesting, which is almost always pretty damned interesting.

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=575

Here's an original article in Scientific American from 1999.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=0004B992-1F95-1C75-9B81809EC588EF21

In neither of these do they say this parasite accounts for all the frog mutations, but it's comforting to know that at least some of them (hopefully many or most) are caused by a more natural phenomenon than our pollution.

Who Uses More Electricity... Al Gore or 25 Million Ugandans?

http://planetgore.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MmExOTNhMGI2MmM4MTQyZDBiMWM2NjJlYWE3YjE1MGE=

"Up to 95% of people in Sub-Saharan countries have no electricity, Al Gore personally uses more electricity in a week than 25 million Ugandans do in a year – and agitators are telling Africans the biggest threat they face is hypothetical climate change."

Tha's all 25 million Ugandans put together.

Do the math.

If his weekly use equaled (instead of exceeding) that of 25M Ugandans' annual usage , then his annual usage is 52 x that of 25 million Ugandans.

This mean (including his heated pool and heated poolhouse) he uses 1 Billion, 300 million times more electricity each year than each Ugandan has the privelege to access.

And he wants to keep these people devoid of electricity, because letting them gain even minimal usage would create the same exhaust gases he does.

Sheez.

Why is Global Warming Such a Partisan Issue?

Is it because all Republicans are ignorant and hate the earth... or is it because they won't accept the premise that the emperor's new clothes are the best they've ever seen, and instead, raise the idea that the emperor doesn't seem to have any clothes on at all?

"Chait falls victim to the idea that for some people -- those rational beings in the reality-based community -- political perspectives flow from a fountain of facts."

http://sciencepolicy.colorado.edu/prometheus/archives/science_politics/001152why_is_climate_chang.html

Why Did Global Warming Become a Moral Issue?

Because that's the best way to squash dissent... just as the old heirarchies squashed dissenting religions in their realms in the days of old.

http://www.americanthinker.com/2007/03/why_did_global_warming_become.html

Scientists Create Frenchman In Laboratory

they've created a creature that's 15% human and 85% sheep.

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=444436&in_page_id=1770&in_a_source

Now scientists create a sheep that's 15% human
By CLAUDIA JOSEPH -

Last updated at 15:53pm on 27th March 2007

Scientists have created the world's first human-sheep chimera - which has the body of a sheep and half-human organs.

The sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells - and their evolution brings the prospect of animal organs being transplanted into humans one step closer.

Professor Esmail Zanjani, of the University of Nevada, has spent seven years and £5million perfecting the technique, which involves injecting adult human cells into a sheep's foetus.

Bizarre Hexagon Found on Saturn

It's an atmospheric formation, and there are no primitive apemen dancing
around it with bones in their hands that we can tell.

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/space/2007-03-27-saturn-hexagon_N.htm

The caption to the first photo in the USA Today story reads:

A bizarre six-sided hexagon feature encircles the entire north pole of Saturn. The hexagon is nearly 15,000 miles (25,000 kilometers) across.NASA/JPL/University of Arizona

I would think a 5-sided or 7-sided hexagon would be more bizarrre. A 6-sided hexagon seems pretty normal to me. Kudos to USA Today's crack team of journalists for that caption.

Dog Gave Heimlich Manuever?

Anyone else just a wee bit skeptical of this story?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/28/ap/strange/main2617914.shtml

Debbie Parkhurst, 45, of Calvert told the Cecil Whig she was eating an apple at her home Friday when a piece lodged in her throat. She attempted to perform the Heimlich maneuver on herself but it didn't work. After she began beating on her chest, she said Toby noticed and got involved."The next think I know, Toby's up on his hind feet and he's got his front paws on my shoulders," she recalled. "He pushed me to the ground, and once I was on my back, he began jumping up and down on my chest.

"That's when the apple dislodged and Toby started licking her face to keep her from passing out, she said.

Hillary Promises "Universal Health Care" If She's Elected President

And of course, to anyone who has researched the issue or ever had problems with physicians, that is a commercial for her competitor... whoever it might be.

Tha plan goes something like this. You go to the doctors assigned to you by the government (the Government being the epitome of efficiency... just look at road crews sleeping on the job) and if you go to another one, you and the physician are both in serious trouble. Why? Because Government Beaurocracy (all bow down and praise its name) always knows best. And because the politicians won't be subject to the law any more than they have to minimize their energy usage while scolding us for using too much.

If that were in effect during the early 90s I'd be dead now.
If it were in effect in the 80s, my aunt Mereada would be dead now.

I think it all comces down to this. Do you think people be trusted to find their own best interests, or should the unwashed masses have to do what their "betters" dictate? And if it hurts individuals, then those peopole just have to accept that sacrifice "for the good of the group?"

Al Gore's Not a Doctor, But He *Is* a Master of Metaphor

Al Gore, the new Renaissance Man for the 21st century is saying "The world has a slight fever. We'll have to remove your head."

See more Michael Ramirez political cartoons here
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/toons/ramirez/ramirez1.asp

36% of DC Adults Are Functionally Illiterate

What surprises me here is that 20% of adults in America are functionally illiterate. I never would have imagined the rate would be that high.

WASHINGTON - About one-third of the people living in the national's capital are functionally illiterate, compared with about one-fifth nationally, according to a report on the District of Columbia.

http://www.dailymail.com/story/Entertainment/+/2007032058/Study-finds-D.C-illiteracy-rate-higher-than-national-average

I don't understand why this story is in the "Entertainment" section of this newspaper.

I Dance Like a Black Woman

See GW Bush and Condoleeza Rice dancing in Brazil during their March 2007 visit, I think. See how Dr. Rice dances? She stole my moves!

This means I'm going to have to challenge her to a dance-off by telling her she been served, just like in the movies.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2jTxlQBwYtA

It's on.



Oh... it's on.

Panda Poop, Panda Poop, Poop Oop Ee Doop. Taking "Recycling" Another Step

Question of the Day:
What newspapers/magazines do you think should be printed on this new paper?

Liao Jun, a researcher at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base in Sichuan province, said the idea came to them after a visit to Thailand last year where they found paper made from elephant dung. They thought panda poop would produce an even finer quality paper, he said.

Who Is Drinking Your Tears While You Sleep?

A species of moth drinks tears from the eyes of sleeping birds using a fearsome proboscis shaped like a harpoon, scientists have revealed. The new discovery – spied in Madagascar – is the first time moths have been seen feeding on the tears of birds.

Click the link to read more.

Good Old Joke

Via John Derbyshire on National Review Online. As he says, it's probably an oldie, but I've never heard it before. I like it, even though it's not based in a pickle factory.

An old southern Baptist country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: A Bible,A silver dollar,A bottle of whisky,A Playboy magazine

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be! And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher muttered in disgust, "he's gonna be a Congressman."

Why I Don't Have to Recycle Any More

There's a family of four in NYC that is trying to have zero impact on the environment. They're eschewing toilet paper, elevators, and everything else that is killing polar bears or whatever the latest shrill over-reaction talking point is this month (he actually mentions polar bears drowning... and eating themselves as a result of our just living our lives).

That means, thanks to Al Gore's "offset" idea, that means four other people don't have to bother recycling or any of that other crap. I grab first dibs, so there are three more slots left. Run, don't walk, to the sign-up station!

This is what the Competitive Enterprise Institute says about Gore's "drowning polar bears" exageration: (Click here to see what else CEI has to say about Gore's 'over-representation' of truth in the film)

• Claims polar bears “have been drowning in significant numbers,” based on a report that found four drowned polar bears in one month of one year, following an abrupt storm.

Some great global warming ideas

Came upon a 'green energy' site's announcment of Richard Branson's $25 million prize for anyone devising a method of reducing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

There are some pretty amusing 'comments' after the article. Of course, some of these people are just having fun with their posts, but some are serious. I've picked the most amusing out and copied them here, as part of my service to you.

Most of these ideas are ingenius and would be very practical and easy to implement... so long as we have an omnipotent government given control of every tiny part of our lives.

I think that the government should place solar panels on all government buildings. All hospitals which use large volumes of hot water, schools, colleges, council offices etc etc. If they used solar panels in large quantities the price would drop and become more affordable for the avereage householder who is effectively priced out of buying them at the moment. Also street lighting could be improved by using energy saving bulbs.
Posted by: Anita Rollinson February 25, 2007 at 08:59 AM


I suggest that new building regulations be introduced making builders put solar panels on all new buildings therefore decreasing the need for fuel and using grey water from the bath shower etc to flush the toilets. Also large windows on the south side of the building and smaller windows on the north side.
Posted by: Maria Murphy February 25, 2007 at 09:07 AM

Brian's another genius. I'm sure he'd love to have a couple of these towers in his back yard.

my idea is to use a system like those used on a submarine to filter the air it would have to be at least 1 to 2 hunderd foot towers with a fan on top to draw the air down thru a filtation system and then release the filtred air back into the atmosferethanks brian
Posted by: brian February 26, 2007 at 11:24 AM

Communism is the answer! Because it has worked so well everywhere it's been tried already. I mean, Sandy Barone is definitely the type of genius I want making all the decisions for my life.l

I suggest that we eliminate cars, roads & all small buildings to eliminate greenhouse gases, & start building only massive 100-story live/work/play tower cities connected to maglev trains worldwide. There will be all things in every tower: microfactories, houses with backyard balconies, indoor playgrounds, stadium/s, atriums, high balcony rails & mesh to prevent falls, waterfalls, gardens, hydroponic gardens, automate all the work, make all things last forever as much as possible to eliminate ethe work. Teach all people of all nations to work part-time, starting at 20 hours a week. Eliminate 98% lumber, paper, all carpets, fireplaces, insurance, loans, renting, & more. Make most furniture built-in permanent (dressers, cabinets, etc). Find ways to eliminate all or most of the work. Eliminating cars & small buildings will save lives & save the earth, as will a "guaranteed income" RFID for every person on earth, which will end the wage & end world poverty. Yes I'm serious. Thank you for listening.
Posted by: Sandy Bartone March 05, 2007 at 10:16 AM


And here's Fran's solution:
Im a woman and I strongly believe that having women going to work has been a direct cause to global warming.

Let me explain. Most families need 2 cars. All the driving to get the kids to daycare, then to work, back to get the kids at daycare and then home.
We as women are the biggest consumers: clothes, shoes, purses, hair products, make up, skincare, body products, lunches, health products, and more etc. We wouldnt need all of those if we didnt work.

We wouldnt need 2 cars if we didnt work. We wouldnt need daycare.
Its not an easy solution as we all need as a society to review our way of doing everything.
Take away all the women in their working positions, fill them with men only, the volume of salaries will drop and prices to consumers should follow. Thus, families could survive on one salary only.

It wont cost a thing and it will solve the problem in the long run.
Its probably the greatest idea yet, but many women will want to stone me for saying so LOL.
Also its probably such a simple solution that nobody will pay attention to it.
Society as a whole thrives on making everything SO complicated when it could be So simple.
Posted by: Fran March 08, 2007 at 07:26 PM

Keep this in mind when you read Richard T. Bearse's idea. He thinks his is so important that he posted it twice.
From a NASA educational site:
A satellite in geosynchronous orbit circles the earth once each day... For a satellite's orbit period to be one [...] day, it must be approximately 35,786 kilometers (19,323 nautical miles or 22,241 statute miles) above the earth's surface. That is a lot higher than the Shuttle ever goes (usually about 300 kilometers). <>

I propose that a series of multifunction, manned platforms (total number to be determined by experts) be placed in geosyncronous orbit around the planet.

Each platform will have, at least two (4) or more "carbon filament" cables which are long enough to lower smaller platforms to various levels within the atmosphere. Each platform, in turn will have, at least two (2), carbon cables which can reach the surface to be used in conjunction with "Space Elevators" to transport supplies up and down the cables as needed.

After all the processing has been completed, extracted "Ozone" should be returned to the platforms, at the very least to help repair/replentish the planet's "Ozone Layer". The containers could be lowered & the gas released at the appropriate altitude.

Hybrid IS the right idea, but instead of petrolium, "hydrogen" should be used! It is EASY to produce, renewable, "NON-POLLUTING", and there ARE vericles out there running on nothing BUT hydrogen or natural gas already! Our technology has come so far as to be able to manufacture small processing plants that can be used by an average consumer to make hydrogen "at home". As well as running automobiles/trucks with hydrogen, people could heat their homes with it!

I know I am no expert, but to me, these suggestions seem to be the most viable solutions for a NUMBER of problems.

Well, even if you are no expert, you've certainly hit upon all the solutions we need.. and you never had to leave your Barco-Lounder and Cheezy Poofs, did you? Another world-class genius without all the details of spending years in school studying science!

Bruce Campbell in 2007/2008

Two great Bruce Campbell movies coming up,

In 2008, we'll be treated to Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires, a prequel to 2002's masterpiece Bubba Ho-Tep

Later this year, another addition to a series, My Name Is Bruce in which Campbell is mistaken for his character from the Army of Darkness series and is forced by a small town to fight evil demons (something like The Three Amigos and A Bug's Life).

Hats off to Michael Crichton's Message Board

I don't do chatrooms, message boards, etc., but I found this when looking up something on Crichton. I love the bolded sentence (bolded on Crichton's page, too). Hats off to Crichton and his web team.

http://www.michaelcrichton.net/messageboard.html

1. Many message boards have an “off-topic” section. This is not one of those boards. Please stay on-topic or your post will be deleted. Straying off-topic too many times (determined by the webmaster) will result in being banned from the website. Also, this is NOT a chat room. Casual conversations between posters will be deleted without notice. We do not use chat room or 'short-cut' "English" on this message board. Posts using, for example, "kewl," "u" for "you," or no capitalization or punctuation will be deleted.

Your Daily Duck

Al Gore. C-student in college, but he's still smarter than the PhDs and marketing & design specialists in the auto industry. What's next? He'll tell Ted Nugent how to finger a power chord? Or how best to release the his arrow with a 10-point whitetail is in his sights? Actually, I'd like to see him try either of those, because you know damn well he thinks Uncle Ted could use his advice on such matters.

http://planetgore.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NmIyZmMwYTcyZGQ3YmZkY2Y3YjkwOTFkNzhiZjU2ZjA=

Al Gore. Inventor of the Internet. Climatologist. Now add auto industry expert to the list.
The Goracle raised blood pressures in Detroit Wednesday when he lectured U.S. automakers on their business model. A main reason "our auto companies are in trouble," he told the Senate climate panel, is "they got all these gas guzzlers they can't sell that people don't want to buy.”

Bunkum.

In December, GM rode the backs of double-digit sales increases in its big new Chevy Tahoe and GMC Yukon SUVs to turn its first quarterly profit in two years. Just last month, sales of its biggest gas-guzzler - the Chevy Suburban - were up a whopping 33 percent. Profit margins on light trucks run upwards of $7000 a vehicle, which is foreign makers have also been jumping into the SUV market.

More busting on Gore

Jonah Goldberg from National Review Online takes a look at the urgency behind Al Gore's passion to save the world... by telling all non-rich people what they can and cannot do.

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=YWZiYWFhZTQ3ZmM2NDcyMzM3OTk1YWY5MjVjNmZkY2Y=

Global warming is what William James called a “moral equivalent of war” that gives political officials the power to do things they could never do without a crisis. As liberal journalist James Ridgeway wrote in the early 1970s: “Ecology offered liberal-minded people what they had longed for, a safe, rational and above all peaceful way of remaking society ... (and) developing a more coherent central state.”

Isn’t it interesting how the same people who think “dissent is the highest form of patriotism” when it comes to the war think that dissent when it comes to global warming is evil and troglodytic?

On the one hand he wants everybody to change their lifestyles dramatically. These are the sacrifices the voracious energy user Al Gore won’t have to make because he can buy “carbon credits” for his many homes and his jet-setting.

But when asked this week about the enormous and unwise costs his plan would impose on the U.S. economy (according to the global consensus of economists), Gore said that his draconian emissions cuts are “going to save you money, and it’s going to make the economy stronger.”
Wait a second. This is the gravest crisis we’ve ever faced, but if we do exactly as Gore says (but not as he does), we’ll get richer in the process as we heal Mother Earth of her fever? Gore’s faith-based initiative is a win-win. No wonder so many people think it’s mean to disagree.

Cricket. Game, set... MURDER!!!!!

Alternate title: Sticky wicket, wicked googly.... wicked wicket DEATH!!!!!

Good Lord. I thought peopel in central PA were rabid Steelers fans (hiya, Jeff, how's it goin'?).
Compared to this, they're just passive, apathetic quilting bee members.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070323/ap_on_re_as/cricket_pakistan

KINGSTON, Jamaica - The genteel sport of cricket was dealt a brutal blow when Jamaican police said Pakistan's national coach was murdered in his hotel room a day after his team suffered a humiliating World Cup loss.

Bob Woolmer, 58, was found unconscious in his blood- and vomit-splattered hotel room in Jamaica on Sunday after his team's defeat to Ireland on St. Patrick's Day sealed Pakistan's ouster from the tournament.

Mark Shields, the deputy police commissioner, said police were investigating if more than one person could have been involved.

I can't help but see the Jamaican police from the Beatles' HELP! when I read that last line.

"Because Bob was a large man, it would have taken some significant force to subdue him..."

Protesters in several Indian cities, for instance, burned effigies of their national cricket players and destroyed portions of one player's half-built home after the team was beaten Sunday by Bangladesh.

Outsource Hindus staff Christian call centers

I think this is a parody (the selections for "reading impaired" and "for eunuchs" somewhat gives it away) but it's pretty funny.


http://larknews.com/may_2006/secondary.php?page=1


DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother's persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself "Darren," prayed in a strong Indian accent that "all the gods would bless her mightily."

"I was stunned," Danes says. "It was like I'd called a demon prayer line." The manager of India Prayer Solutions, located in Mumbai, India, apologized for the incident and fired the employee who, he said, had not been properly trained. But dozens of similar incidents have rattled U.S. callers since major ministries began outsourcing their prayer lines to India. The ministries insist they are overwhelmed by the growing number of calls for prayer.

"There aren't enough Americans willing to sit in the prayer tower and take calls anymore," says a prayer coordinator at a major ministry which jobbed out its prayer lines last year. But the interactions have left many callers baffled.

Rich Douglas of Orem, Utah, called a prayer line for the first time this month, requesting prayer for his wife's cancer. His prayer partner, "Stephanie," took him through a series of prayers that felt "pretty clinical," says Douglas. "I definitely didn't sense the Spirit. It sounded like she was reading from a script."

"Stephanie," whose real name is Reha Jain, is a Hindu woman who works at a call center in Mumbai and has prayed with "many satisfied prayer customers," she says. "It's like my old job at a Microsoft call center. The caller is happy if you deliver quality customer service." Her fellow worker Rajneesh Tuwalla likewise had never heard of a single U.S. ministry, but was "sick of working at the Sprint call center," he says. "The customers always got angry about their bill."

Tuwalla landed a job at a prayer center and learned to pray "Christian prayers" by watching Kenneth Copeland.

"All the TV preachers pray good, but Copeland prays the best," says Tuwalla, who mimics Copeland's style on the phone with callers. Like many service reps, he uses an American name while on the job. In Copeland's honor, Tuwalla calls himself "Ken."

Tuwalla has heard the rumors that U.S. ministries may repatriate their call centers. He hopes it isn't true. At his Sprint job he would have to "run around the block and maybe pull the head off a stray chicken" to settle down every night because of the stress he felt serving demanding U.S. customers. But the prayer center job is more relaxed.

"The callers are very nice," he says. "I like my life again."•

Nancy Pelosi, stop calling yourself a Catholic

From an open letter to Nancy Pelosi, written by Fr. John Malloy, pastor of Saints Peter and Paul Church in San Francisco:


Nancy, you are fooling yourself and I fear fooling many good Catholics. You are simply not in sync with the Catholic Church. Until you change your non-Catholic positions, you should stop calling yourself Catholic.

http://www.calcatholic.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?id=695280f1-c90e-44d8-a866-d8e28f5ef457

One thing I never thought of doing to a dead deer

I've done a couple things with them, mostly with a pair of knives and some gutting gloves.

But this is incredibly disturbing. No humor to be found here; just disgust.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/21/ap/strange/main2593908.shtml

One thing that shouldn't have been outsourced to India

Beatles music

http://weblogs.variety.com/thompsononhollywood/2007/03/bollywood_beatl.html

Weapons of Grass Destruction

The World Masters of RockGrass release their new album April 9, 2007.
Third world dictators and enemies of freedom quake in their boots.

http://www.hayseed-dixie.com/

Chuck Norris: The Legend Continues

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/22/norris22.xml

"To this day she remains modest: a 5ft tall slip of a girl, and yet one so courageous that she has become the first female officer to win the Military Cross. Pte Michelle "Chuck" Norris, 19, had only recently completed her Army training when she braved heavy sniper fire to climb on top of a Warrior armoured vehicle to haul her sergeant to safety after he was wounded in the head. One bullet from an AK47 rifle ripped through her rucksack as she came under fire from five different positions. But she refused to let go of Colour Sgt Ian Page, dragging him to safety and then jokingly referring to him as "Dad" as they and their comrades waited in the darkness for a rescue helicopter. "

AL-MIGHTY PREACHER RUNNING OUT OF POWER

A New York Post article by John Poderetz, a frequent National Review contributor:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03222007/news/columnists/al_mighty_preacher_running_out_of_power_columnists_john_podhoretz.htm

The middle part, dealing with Gore's hypocrisy vis a vis using nuclear power instead of massive financial and freedome oppression to help "save the world":

Fair enough. He believes the world is in a crisis and that politicians must do what is best, not what is convenient.

But what about the Goracle walking through a little fire himself? He knows as well as anyone that the only form of energy that has no effect whatever on greenhouse gases is nuclear energy.
And yet here the Prophet of Doom was bizarrely tentative.

"I'm not opposed" to nuclear power, spake the Goracle, but suddenly he became deeply solicitous of the role of the free market. Nuclear plants are expensive to build, you see, and when the price of gas drops, energy companies drop their plans to construct them.

Given the level of his concern, why would the Goracle not suggest Congress offer enormous incentives to energy companies to build nuclear-power plants?

And since many companies don't even bother to try to build nuclear plants because of community opposition, why would he not embark upon an educational effort to explain to the American people the environmental benefit to be gained from a major program to build nuclear power plants?

Why? I'll tell you why. Nuclear power is an ancient bugbear for the environmentalist left, and Gore is now their leader and sovereign. He's willing to speak the Inconvenient Truth to Power - just so long as it doesn't offend his own power base.

Al Gore talks about global warming

...to two Congressional committees, and stated it's a "catastrophe" and we "must do something now or it'll be too late," and the newspeople placed palm leaves at his feet. Just thought you'd like to know that hot little piece of news.

Also notable today: bears dropped fertilizer in the woods, man was inhumane to his fellow man, and the sun rose in the east.


p.s.
One Democratic official called him "a prophet." As Mr. Creosote says in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, "Better get me a bucket...."

New Dean Koontz book coming out soon

See http://www.deankoontz.com/ for details about the new book, called "The Good Man." (I think that's the title).

Just be sure to turn off the annoying 'Odd Thomas' avatar in a white shirt that starts to talk.

There's a youtube contest. The best 30 second "trailer" for the book gets five thousand bucks, and everyone who enters gets a tshirt.

Smack my bitch up

I have a version of that song by Prodigy done in 'lounge singer' style by Richard Cheese, a cheesey singer from Las Vegas.

I wonder why I thought of that song while I read this letter sent by two Republicans to Al Gore asking him to answer some questions while appearing before a congressional committe tomorrow (I think it's tomorrow, March 21).

http://republicans.energycommerce.house.gov/108/letters/3.20.07_Letter_to_Al_Gore.pdf

My favorite question (regarding his propoganda film, An Inconvenient Truth)
In Grist Magazine, you explicitly acknowledge, in your words, "overrepresentation fo factual presentations [in the film]." What is your motive for the "overrepresentation?"

Communism was replaced by the threat of amitious environmentalism.

Who said that... Thomas Sowell? G. Gordon Liddy? Cheney? Rove?

Nope. Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who, as he says, lived under communism for most of his life.

Read more of it on National Review's newest blog, "Planet Gore."

http://planetgore.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NTgwNmFjOTk0YzBjMTYxN2Y2MjczOWY2MTcwZDI2Mjg=

"It becomes evident that while discussing climate we are not witnessing a clash of views about the environment but a clash of views about human freedom."

The - so called - climate change and especially man-made climate change has become one of the most dangerous arguments aimed at distorting human efforts and public policies in the whole world," Klaus said.

Rosie O'Donnell Thinks 9-11 Was an Inside Job

Surprised?

First, her simple-minded attempts at free-verse poetry.
I suppose we're supposed to be impressed that she spells the
word "our" like this: 'r.' It was stupid 20 years ago when Prince
did it and it's idiotic now. The e.e. cummings "no capitalization"
ploy works great... if you're e.e. cummings. If you aren't e.e. cummings, you like a college sophomore trying to look wordly and intellectual (i.e., a dumbass).

Big news. She's now a fire and construction expert. She knows
that the only thing that could have resulted in an even collapse
of the buildings was a perfectly evenly distributed fire.

for the third time in history
fire brought down a steel building
reducing it to rubble
hold on folks
here we go

• The fires in WTC 7 were not evenly distributed, so a
perfect collapse was impossible.

Screw the Popular Mechanics editors
http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/military_law/1227842.html?page=1
who interviewed actual specialists who thoroughly debunked all of the
points she makes here (points which other idiots
have been making for five years). She doesn't need
degrees and experience to understand this. She's a bloated
cow on television, so she's already an expert in any field
she decides to think about.

Bottom line. If this had happened on a Democratic president's
watch, she wouldn't be raging about conspiracies. Deep down
even she knows that. It's Bush Derangement Syndrome, Stage III.

Favorite Rosie description that I read years ago:
"Rosie O'Donnell, who mistakes volume for talent."

Every time I see her hemmorhoids-on-an-elephant's-ass face,
I'm reminded of that line.

How to save the world... at no cost to the rich and powerful

Hey all you people fighting for cap and trade on carbon emissions. This is the future you are so earnestly fighting for. And guess what.... you aren't going to get the same immunity from these laws that your heroes will. You'll be tossed right back into the masses when they're done with you.

This story from the U.K. shows the Brave New World Al Gore is envisioning for the 'unwashed masses' like you and me. I'm sure the politicians and ultra-rich will be subject to the same restrictions they propose for us... aren't you????

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/11/ngreen11.xml

Harsh new taxes on air travel, including a strict personal flight "allowance", will be unveiled by the Conservatives tomorrow as part of a plan that would penalise business travellers, holidaymakers and the ourist industry.

The Conservatives will also suggest - most controversially of all - rationing individuals to as little as a single short-haul flight each year; any further journeys would attract progressively higher taxes, a leaked document entitled Greener Skies suggests.

In a further departure from Tory tradition, the party will underline its green credentials by welcoming Al Gore, the Democrat former US vice-president, to a meeting of the shadow cabinet on Thursday.

Among the proposals, which the Tories insist are options for consultation, are:

Charging fuel duty or VAT on domestic flights. The document notes that there are "no legal barriers" to introducing either levy and adds: "We have pledged that any additional revenues from environmental taxes that we propose at the next election will be offset by equivalent reductions in other forms of taxation."

Replacing the £10 to £80 Air Passenger Duty with a per-flight tax levied on airlines which would penalise the dirtiest engines the hardest.

A personal "green air miles allowance" which would punish those who flew more often with a higher tax rate. The document states: "For example, everyone could be entitled to one short-haul return flight per year at the standard rate of tax, but additional flights would be charged at a higher rate."

Remind you of anyone in the news a lot lately?

Another prophet of disaster
Who says the ship is lost
Another prophet of disaster
Leaving you to count the cost

Taunting us with visions
Afflicting us with fear...

I wonder what we can do to prevent the disaster? Who will save us?!?!?!

This is about manipulative political leaders in general, from Iron Maiden's "Live After Death" (just about the best live album in my collection).

But gosh, even though this formula has worked for thousands of years,Rev. Al wouldn't stoop to such trickery just to get himself some sortof political power, would he? He has no reason to exaggerate... He inspired "Love Story" for God's sake! And he found Love Canal! His mother used to sing him to sleep with the "Look for the unionlabel" song. The man's a saint, I tell you!

Global Warming North Pole trek cancelled due to extreme cold

Not since Al Gore's global warming speech was cancelled due to cold temperatures,not since Rosie O'Donnell's bodyguard carried a gun, has there been such a sweet news headline:
http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/16887788.htm

The explorers, Ann Bancroft and Liv Arnesen, on Saturday called off what was intended to be a 530-mile trek across the Arctic Ocean after Arnesen suffered frostbite in three of her toes, and extreme cold temperatures drained the batteries in some of their electronic equipment

"They were experiencing temperatures that weren't expected with global warming," Atwood said. "But one of the things we see with global warming is unpredictability."

So..... global warming can cause unexpected cold as well as overwhelmingdeath-inducing heat. So by logic, then it can cause seasonably mild temperatures,too, like a nice warm Spring day. We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait a second... let's see that quote again:"They were experiencing temperatures that weren't expected with global warming," Atwood said. "But one of the things we see with global warming is unpredictability."

Since when is deadly frigid temperature not predicted close to the Arctic Circle in winter-time?
Reminds me of the time I went for a walk in the ocean but was turned back by lots of unpredictable wet stuff.

So here's their web page. On every day's page for which there is a measurement(I think I saw all 8 days' worth) the ice measurement was 0.0 centimeters, yetthere's a photo of ice with water running through it, a photo of a plane flyingover water and ice, and a close-up picture of a what looks like a lot of snow. Makes you wonder what their definition of 'ice' is or how they selected whereto measure it. We're to believe they got frostbite in 100 degree below zeroweather while they were walking on dry ground? Maybe it was all just plainold snow...

But then why do they say this in their March 10th post? From where are they sendingtheir voice message again?

"Listen to Ann's weekend voice message from the ice." So is there ice or isn't thereice? Or is the ice that's there the kind that 'doesn't really count,' when measuringice for a global warming propoganda piece?

Their expedition map. Apparently they didn't get far enough to even mark theirprogress on the map, because I can't see any noted.http://www.bancroftarnesen.com/explore/ArcticOcean2007/ExpeditionMap.jsp

Media attacked for "climate-porn"

I like that new term. The six-o'clock news shows should use
that as the title for their "Prophet Al" segments every time they
talk about anthropogenic global warming. Something about truth
in advertising, don'tcha know.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5236482.stm
A sample:"The awesome truth is that we are the last generation to enjoy the kind of climate that allowed civilisation to germinate, grow and flourish since the start of settled agriculture 11,000 years ago."

Gosh, I don't think that's alarmist. That's just impartial, scientific fact.

"If our readers thought we put climate change on our front pages for the same reason that porn mags put naked women on their front pages, they would stop reading us. "
Ian Birrell, The Independent

That's because you have them scared to death and you're tellingthem that this is FACT you're printing and backing it up by slanderinganyone who is skeptical as being a shill to the oil companies. They're caught up in it the same way Americans panicked at Orson Wells's "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast. They didn't know it was balderdash, so they reacted as if to a real emergency. Give both sides of the argumentequal time and people will start abandoning publications that use scare tactics.

Dems & media call for Gonzalez to step down

... after the firing of 8 (eight) of Attorneys General.

But they were okay with Janet Reno firing all 93 (NINEY-THREE) at once in 1993.
http://www.sweetness-light.com/archive/flashback-attorney-general-reno-seeks-resignations-from-prosecutors-nyt-1993

Some selections from the March 24, 1993 issue of Time, explaininghow it is okay for Democrat administrations to fire Attorneys Generalat will.

"Attorney General Janet Reno today demanded the prompt resignation of all United States Attorneys, leading the Federal prosecutor in the District of Columbia to suggest that the order could be tied to his long-running investigation of Representative Dan Rostenkowski, a crucial ally of President Clinton."

"All 93 United States Attorneys knew they would be asked to step down, since all are Republican holdovers, and 16 have resigned so far. But the process generally takes much longer and had usually been carried out without the involvement of the Attorney General. Battles of the Past "

"Ms. Reno is under pressure to assert her control over appointments at the Justice Department. She was Mr. Clinton’s third choice for Attorney General and arrived after most of the department’s senior positions were already filled by the White House."

Good thing Reno didn't have to step down over this, or she wouldn't have been able to protect our country as a member of The Most Ethical Administration in History by burning the Branch Dividians alive and grabbing Elian Gonzalez at gunpoint to send him back to the totalitarian country that his mother died escaping (and not incidentally, trying to free him from).
Go about your business. No hypocrisy to see here.... no hypocrisy to see here...