My favorite cranky Englishman, John Derbyshire, on cell phones:
Am I the last person in the world not to own a cell phone? I noticed at the airports, on the plane, in the streets, two people out of three are talking into cell phones, or fiddling with those little things with minuscule writing on teeny screens with teeny-tiny keys that go about three to the average adult fingertip. How d'you use those things?
And what do people say into their cell phones? They tell each other where they are and what they're doing, that's what. I rode in a shuttle from La Guardia parking lot to the terminal next to a middle-aged woman with a cell phone. She dialed up. "Hey! Just thought I'd give you a call. ... I'm in the shuttle, going to the terminal. ... Right. ... OK, see you in a few days. Bye!" Then she dialed someone else and told her the same thing. I've been having visions of the rest of this woman's day. "Hi! I'm in the departure lounge..." "Hey! How's it going? I just got on the plane..." "Whassup? I got caught short—I'm in the bathroom voiding my bowels..." Is this what the human race has come to?
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