In the Grand Tradition of Socrates V. Dopey... [Jonah Goldberg]
and Godzilla V. Bambi, Mike Tyson V. Pee Wee Herman, and
Patton V. Barbra Streisand I bring you Popular Mechanics V. Rosie O'Donnell.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
Carjacker Beaten By 6-Year-Old Girl, Going to Jail
This guy's time in prison ain't gonna be fun for him, but oh, just thinking about it makes me laugh. Coincidentally, he looks a lot like a dumbass I used to work with.
The family's car was wrecked, but Ellen Degeneres gave them a new one when they appeared on her show.
The carjacker who was fought off by a schoolbook-wielding 6-year-old girl earlier this month in Allapattah has been arrested, Miami police said Friday.
Erick Fuentes, 34, has been charged with carjacking, kidnapping, aggravated battery and battery.
With her fists and the schoolbook Sarah's Unicorn, Briana beat on the carjacker until he stopped the car and ordered the children out.
John Travolta Thinks We Should Move To Another Planet (But Until Then You Should Cut Back On Your Energy Usage)
Barbarino proves not all Hollywood types are idiots.
(And I'll bet 20 bucks this shows up on South Park in some manner.)
John Travolta, Scientology & The Global Warming Solution
By StaffMar 30, 2007
John Travolta [who owns five jets. FIVE jets] has revealed his bizarre solution for global warming - move to another planet. The actor, who is a follower of Scientology, thinks the only way mankind may be able to survive the impending environmental disaster is to colonise another world.
Travolta - who infuriated environmentalists by flying his private jet to the London premiere of his new film 'Wild Hogs' - told BANG Showbiz: "I think that everyone can do their bit, but I'm wondering if we have to start thinking about other planets and also domed cities, because I don't know if there's a way to repair these holes in the sky."
Despite his concerns, the 53-year-old actor - who owns and flies his own Boeing 707 - doesn't plan to cut down on his own carbon emissions by flying less.
He said: "The thing is, I use them as a business tool. Maybe aviation will move into not contributing to those factors, but for the next 50 years, at least, that will be a fact."
The founder of Scientology, American science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard, claimed that extra terrestrial beings were sent to Earth by intergalactic ruler Xenu, who then blew up the aliens with hydrogen bombs in a volcano.
(And I'll bet 20 bucks this shows up on South Park in some manner.)
John Travolta, Scientology & The Global Warming Solution
By StaffMar 30, 2007
John Travolta [who owns five jets. FIVE jets] has revealed his bizarre solution for global warming - move to another planet. The actor, who is a follower of Scientology, thinks the only way mankind may be able to survive the impending environmental disaster is to colonise another world.
Travolta - who infuriated environmentalists by flying his private jet to the London premiere of his new film 'Wild Hogs' - told BANG Showbiz: "I think that everyone can do their bit, but I'm wondering if we have to start thinking about other planets and also domed cities, because I don't know if there's a way to repair these holes in the sky."
Despite his concerns, the 53-year-old actor - who owns and flies his own Boeing 707 - doesn't plan to cut down on his own carbon emissions by flying less.
He said: "The thing is, I use them as a business tool. Maybe aviation will move into not contributing to those factors, but for the next 50 years, at least, that will be a fact."
The founder of Scientology, American science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard, claimed that extra terrestrial beings were sent to Earth by intergalactic ruler Xenu, who then blew up the aliens with hydrogen bombs in a volcano.
If There's Going To Be A 50-Foot Robot of Any Musical Figure Roaming Around In the Dessert, It Had Damn Well Better Be Iron Maiden's Eddie
Maybe we could have both of them and let them fight it out in the desert like in Transformers or the classic 1990 movie Robot Jox and its 1993 sequel Robot Wars (which I still haven't seen yet, curses!!!).
Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot
Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.
The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.
It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.
Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.
"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.
On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."
Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot
Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.
The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.
It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.
Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.
"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.
On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Some yong attention-seeker went and got himself suspended or sent home from school for dressing like a pirate at school, and he's claiming religious persecution.
I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it's mildly amusing... and probably not much more than "mildly."
I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it's mildly amusing... and probably not much more than "mildly."
Mexico City Program Unveils Program To Increase Thefts
I wonder if you can turn in an Xbox for a gun if you promise to take it out of Mexico City? Now that'd be a "turn-in" program I could support.
I'm sure they make the criminals promise not to steal more guns to turn in.
Mexico City is offering to give an Xbox video game console anyone who turns in a gun:
Police who have raided vice-ridden Mexico City neighborhoods in a push against drug violence hope to take guns off the streets by offering to swap them for computers and video-game consoles.
Launching the program Tuesday in the notorious inner-city barrio of Tepito, which police stormed last month, city police chief Joel Ortega said anyone who turns in a high-caliber weapon like a machine gun will get a computer.
Owners can swap smaller guns for cash or Microsoft Corp.'s Xbox video-game consoles under the plan.
I would, of course, prefer to see folks taking out virtual baddies in Halo than fellow citizens on the city streets. But, as Techdirt points out, the plan is likely to backfire:
The hope is that this will get guns off the street, reducing crime. Of course, it could just mean that folks with guns will now be stealing more guns in order to get an Xbox while keeping a gun on the side (just in case).
Cell Phones, What Are They Good For? Huh! Say It Again!!
My favorite cranky Englishman, John Derbyshire, on cell phones:
Am I the last person in the world not to own a cell phone? I noticed at the airports, on the plane, in the streets, two people out of three are talking into cell phones, or fiddling with those little things with minuscule writing on teeny screens with teeny-tiny keys that go about three to the average adult fingertip. How d'you use those things?
And what do people say into their cell phones? They tell each other where they are and what they're doing, that's what. I rode in a shuttle from La Guardia parking lot to the terminal next to a middle-aged woman with a cell phone. She dialed up. "Hey! Just thought I'd give you a call. ... I'm in the shuttle, going to the terminal. ... Right. ... OK, see you in a few days. Bye!" Then she dialed someone else and told her the same thing. I've been having visions of the rest of this woman's day. "Hi! I'm in the departure lounge..." "Hey! How's it going? I just got on the plane..." "Whassup? I got caught short—I'm in the bathroom voiding my bowels..." Is this what the human race has come to?
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