Thursday, May 15, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Two World-Class Headlines
Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious
and, from the Washington Bleep:
Skywalkers Cross Han Solo
and, from the Washington Bleep:
Skywalkers Cross Han Solo
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Sunday, December 23, 2007
 | I received 71 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you? |
| Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is | |
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Poorly written article proposes that Hillary's being a bitch is a good thing
Argov's poorly thought piece is an example of pure Clintonian drivel. It all depends on what the definition of "bitch" is. She doesn't want to admit that the word has more than one meaning, so she assumes that "bitch" only means "good and tough." But it also means "female asshole."
It's not a question of whether Hilllary is a b--ch, but to whom* and why. Hillary is a b--ch for her own benefit, not for the benefit of those she represents.**
I'm 100% certain that Margaret Thatcher was called a b--ch (definition: complimentary) tough, good leader) because she was tough when the situation demanded it. This is being "tough," although Argov intends to confuses the reader by equating it with acting like a b--ch. (i.e."Tough women are often called b--ches, and HC is often called a b--ch, therefore, she must be a tough leader and hence, would be good for the country.")
Hillary's problem is that she is a b--ch when being a b--ch isn't necessary. She's a b--ch (definition: (insult) selfish, mean, vile, petty, power-hungry person. Female asshole) to satisfy her own purposes.
Bonus: She is also Bill's b--ch (definition: fool) for putting up with his multiple public daliancesand not leaving him as a good, self-respecting woman would have. And hilariously, he is her b--ch in return. What a good, healthy relationship that one is.
* In the last 15 years HC has been a bitch to
a) her political enemies,
b) the military,
c) anyone who opposes her,
d) anyone she has no further use for,
e) her staff and "underlings." (That's always a good sign, isn't it? Being cruel to those beneath you?)
** Argov assumes that if elected, she'd suddenly turn the power of her bitchness against our enemies, who are
a) Islamo-fascists, to whom she sometimes joins with other Dems in giving moral support with their "anti-Bush's war" diatribes and demands for a "surrender" date,
b) the Chi-coms, to whom her husband gave the military technologies for multiple-warhead missiles and non-cavitating propellers for submarines and from whom much money flows,
c) North Korea, to whom Bill gave nuclear technology, so long as they pinky-swear-promised not to build the nuclear weapons they now have, and
d) internal enemies like the 16 FALN and Mecheteros(sp?) gang members Bill pardoned to help her gain votes in NY.
No. If elected, she'll stay the same as she always has been: friendly to whoever can
help her with money, power, or votes. And she'll still be a b--ch to anyone in her way, or simply because she has the power to be an arbitrary b---h.
But Argov believes that once elected she'll turn 180 degrees and be a b--ch for the benefit of the country and not herself. Argov is an idiot. To answer the rhetorical question in her book's title, some men marry "b--ches" for the same reason some women marry jerks. They're stupid and have no self-respect.
A point-by-point rebuttal of Argov's insipid "ettiquette for bitches":
* Remember that each time you are called a bitch on the campaign trail... it means that some other poor woman is getting a break from being called one.
SO... I CAN'T USE THE SAME PEJORATIVE ON TWO PEOPLE ON THE SAME DAY? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. HARRY REID IS AN IDIOT. OOPS, SO MUCH FOR "ARGOV'S FIRST LAW OF INSULTS."
* Lead with compassion for your male counterparts. Many still suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and night sweats, even though it's been decades since the feminist movement.
HC HAS AS MUCH COMPASSION AS A NILE MONITOR, BUT ISN'T AS WARM-HEARTED.
HERE'S A SURPRISE FOR YOU, ARGOV: MOST MEN I KNOW (MINUS THE EFFEMINATE ONES) ARE BOTHERED BY YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" LESS THAN WE ARE BY 1920's PROHIBITION. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S EVEN LESS RELEVENT TO US THAN PROHIBITION, WHICH ENDED SEVEN DECADES AGO. GET OVER YOURSELF.
* Wear skirts often. It'll flummox them even more.
NOW I'M SCARED. THAT'S MORE FRIGHTENING TO A HEALTHY MAN THAN YOU EVER DREAMED YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" WAS.
And one final word from the trenches. Being a woman who is running for office is sometimes threatening to those who aren't used to seeing women be productive outside the kitchen and the laundry room. The good news is, they'll adjust. Ain't that a bitch?
I THOUGHT I DISAPPROVE OF HC BECAUSE SHE'S DESPICABLE AS A PERSON AND AS A POLITICIAN. THANKS FOR SHOWING ME THAT FACT ABOUT MYSELF, LITTLE LADY. NOW GO GET ME A BEER.
It's not a question of whether Hilllary is a b--ch, but to whom* and why. Hillary is a b--ch for her own benefit, not for the benefit of those she represents.**
I'm 100% certain that Margaret Thatcher was called a b--ch (definition: complimentary) tough, good leader) because she was tough when the situation demanded it. This is being "tough," although Argov intends to confuses the reader by equating it with acting like a b--ch. (i.e."Tough women are often called b--ches, and HC is often called a b--ch, therefore, she must be a tough leader and hence, would be good for the country.")
Hillary's problem is that she is a b--ch when being a b--ch isn't necessary. She's a b--ch (definition: (insult) selfish, mean, vile, petty, power-hungry person. Female asshole) to satisfy her own purposes.
Bonus: She is also Bill's b--ch (definition: fool) for putting up with his multiple public daliancesand not leaving him as a good, self-respecting woman would have. And hilariously, he is her b--ch in return. What a good, healthy relationship that one is.
* In the last 15 years HC has been a bitch to
a) her political enemies,
b) the military,
c) anyone who opposes her,
d) anyone she has no further use for,
e) her staff and "underlings." (That's always a good sign, isn't it? Being cruel to those beneath you?)
** Argov assumes that if elected, she'd suddenly turn the power of her bitchness against our enemies, who are
a) Islamo-fascists, to whom she sometimes joins with other Dems in giving moral support with their "anti-Bush's war" diatribes and demands for a "surrender" date,
b) the Chi-coms, to whom her husband gave the military technologies for multiple-warhead missiles and non-cavitating propellers for submarines and from whom much money flows,
c) North Korea, to whom Bill gave nuclear technology, so long as they pinky-swear-promised not to build the nuclear weapons they now have, and
d) internal enemies like the 16 FALN and Mecheteros(sp?) gang members Bill pardoned to help her gain votes in NY.
No. If elected, she'll stay the same as she always has been: friendly to whoever can
help her with money, power, or votes. And she'll still be a b--ch to anyone in her way, or simply because she has the power to be an arbitrary b---h.
But Argov believes that once elected she'll turn 180 degrees and be a b--ch for the benefit of the country and not herself. Argov is an idiot. To answer the rhetorical question in her book's title, some men marry "b--ches" for the same reason some women marry jerks. They're stupid and have no self-respect.
A point-by-point rebuttal of Argov's insipid "ettiquette for bitches":
* Remember that each time you are called a bitch on the campaign trail... it means that some other poor woman is getting a break from being called one.
SO... I CAN'T USE THE SAME PEJORATIVE ON TWO PEOPLE ON THE SAME DAY? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. HARRY REID IS AN IDIOT. OOPS, SO MUCH FOR "ARGOV'S FIRST LAW OF INSULTS."
* Lead with compassion for your male counterparts. Many still suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and night sweats, even though it's been decades since the feminist movement.
HC HAS AS MUCH COMPASSION AS A NILE MONITOR, BUT ISN'T AS WARM-HEARTED.
HERE'S A SURPRISE FOR YOU, ARGOV: MOST MEN I KNOW (MINUS THE EFFEMINATE ONES) ARE BOTHERED BY YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" LESS THAN WE ARE BY 1920's PROHIBITION. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S EVEN LESS RELEVENT TO US THAN PROHIBITION, WHICH ENDED SEVEN DECADES AGO. GET OVER YOURSELF.
* Wear skirts often. It'll flummox them even more.
NOW I'M SCARED. THAT'S MORE FRIGHTENING TO A HEALTHY MAN THAN YOU EVER DREAMED YOUR "FEMINIST MOVEMENT" WAS.
And one final word from the trenches. Being a woman who is running for office is sometimes threatening to those who aren't used to seeing women be productive outside the kitchen and the laundry room. The good news is, they'll adjust. Ain't that a bitch?
I THOUGHT I DISAPPROVE OF HC BECAUSE SHE'S DESPICABLE AS A PERSON AND AS A POLITICIAN. THANKS FOR SHOWING ME THAT FACT ABOUT MYSELF, LITTLE LADY. NOW GO GET ME A BEER.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Shippensburg University red-lighted for free speech violations.
See the Free Speech Widget on the sidebar for Shippensburg University. Does Ship believe in political free speech for everyone or just those who agree with the University?
Oh, come on. What do you think the answer is going to be?
Oh, come on. What do you think the answer is going to be?
Sunday, July 15, 2007
A Duran Duran song for K-Lo at NRO
This morning was somewhat musical "Down on The Corner" at National Review.com
Derb rewrote a Hank Williams song and Andrew Stuttaford referenced an old Pink Floyd title.
I thought of this as a quick joke because K-Lo is a Duran Duran nut, but it turned into an entire song.
If you like this, feel free to copy it, but please link here and give credit to The Carnivorous Duck.
"Rio '07"
Dedicated to the Queen of Conservative Cool, Kathryn Jean Lopez
Movin' 'cross the river, now you're headin' for paradise.
Border agents hobbled? Si, that's very nice.
With a lift from the left and a boost from the right,
You're ready to go get wet.
You know you're treated special; your amnesty will get through yet.
Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand,
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.
I-C-E won't chase you and border guards will flee,
Bush and Sutton's actions make it all too plain to see.
Anchor babies and ER rooms; everything for free.
You know that's how the pols think your life should be.
Hey now (dios mio!) Mira! Run that border agent down!
In a weekend or two, your lawyers will sue
As if the victim was you, was you, was you!!!!
Hey, take your chance 'cause Bush is on your side.
I wanna know something, just what is he thinking?
I'm telling you something, we know what they're thinking.
Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand.
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.
Her name is Rio Grande; she's running through the sand.
She used to be a border between two different lands.
Oh Rio, Rio, see them rushing across the land.
To get their handouts, taken from the common man.
(Bonus stanza)
Her name is Rio, necissito comprehende
If you get across, the perks are never-ending
And if they dare to try to send you home,
They'll end up doing time just like Ramos and Compean.
Copyright 2007 The Carnivorous Duck. All rights reserved.
Derb rewrote a Hank Williams song and Andrew Stuttaford referenced an old Pink Floyd title.
I thought of this as a quick joke because K-Lo is a Duran Duran nut, but it turned into an entire song.
If you like this, feel free to copy it, but please link here and give credit to The Carnivorous Duck.
"Rio '07"
Dedicated to the Queen of Conservative Cool, Kathryn Jean Lopez
Movin' 'cross the river, now you're headin' for paradise.
Border agents hobbled? Si, that's very nice.
With a lift from the left and a boost from the right,
You're ready to go get wet.
You know you're treated special; your amnesty will get through yet.
Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand,
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.
I-C-E won't chase you and border guards will flee,
Bush and Sutton's actions make it all too plain to see.
Anchor babies and ER rooms; everything for free.
You know that's how the pols think your life should be.
Hey now (dios mio!) Mira! Run that border agent down!
In a weekend or two, your lawyers will sue
As if the victim was you, was you, was you!!!!
Hey, take your chance 'cause Bush is on your side.
I wanna know something, just what is he thinking?
I'm telling you something, we know what they're thinking.
Her name is Rio and she's flowing through the sand.
She used to be a border, dividing different lands.
And when you've crossed, they'll give you everything they can.
Oh, si. Oh, si. Jose, just cross that Rio Grande.
Her name is Rio Grande; she's running through the sand.
She used to be a border between two different lands.
Oh Rio, Rio, see them rushing across the land.
To get their handouts, taken from the common man.
(Bonus stanza)
Her name is Rio, necissito comprehende
If you get across, the perks are never-ending
And if they dare to try to send you home,
They'll end up doing time just like Ramos and Compean.
Copyright 2007 The Carnivorous Duck. All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Alarm Clocks Are Melting the Planet!
Following Rev. Al's lead on banning the light bulb for the unwashed masses, I think we should outlaw the electric alarm clock. They are a criminal extravagence when 4 polar bears drowned in one month a while back (proving that they're all dying because of global warming).
Look at all the electricity we waste when we could be using wind up clocks for the same purpose. As soon as Al Gore invests in a wind-up clock company, he'll start pushing for bans on clocks...
just like he pushes for cap and trade on "carbon" when he started and is still a principal in a company that makes tons of money on thios "carbon trading."
Oh, and Bush is no longer in the oil business, but he started a war just for his friends to make money. No rational person can think anything different, right? But it's perfectly fine for Gore to make money on a policy he's pushing that would limit your and my ability to freely live our lives the way we want. But then again, we're just the unwashed masses and we don't matter to people like Gore. We're here to obey our "betters."
Look at all the electricity we waste when we could be using wind up clocks for the same purpose. As soon as Al Gore invests in a wind-up clock company, he'll start pushing for bans on clocks...
just like he pushes for cap and trade on "carbon" when he started and is still a principal in a company that makes tons of money on thios "carbon trading."
Oh, and Bush is no longer in the oil business, but he started a war just for his friends to make money. No rational person can think anything different, right? But it's perfectly fine for Gore to make money on a policy he's pushing that would limit your and my ability to freely live our lives the way we want. But then again, we're just the unwashed masses and we don't matter to people like Gore. We're here to obey our "betters."
The Night the Lights Went Out In... Everywhere
That's right, your betters have decided you shouldn't be allowed to use your nice, bright incandescent light bulbs. You should use pale, flickering fluorescents instead, because incandescents are causing GLOBAL WARMING!!!!
Did you know that Naval candidates in flight school are FORBIDDEN to study with fluorescent lights because they damage your vision? Something tells me Gore and his family would be allowed to use incandescents because "their ocular health is important for getting the word out that incandescent bulbs are killing the earth and everything on it." No hypocrisy there, of course.
LED lights could also replace incandescents. The one I have for my bike doesn't give a very good spectrum of light... it just leaves you feeling that some light is missing. Mine's a cheapy, so expensive ones might be better, of course.
Here's an opinion pieceon World Net Daily. Farah mentions some things without documentation (i.e., that Phillips is campaigning for this change also, possibly because fluorescents are more profitable than incandescents--and I'd like to see mention of public or private records showing this).
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54815
Here's an NPR piece that mentions Gore asking Congress to ban the light bulb
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9072304
Did you know that Naval candidates in flight school are FORBIDDEN to study with fluorescent lights because they damage your vision? Something tells me Gore and his family would be allowed to use incandescents because "their ocular health is important for getting the word out that incandescent bulbs are killing the earth and everything on it." No hypocrisy there, of course.
LED lights could also replace incandescents. The one I have for my bike doesn't give a very good spectrum of light... it just leaves you feeling that some light is missing. Mine's a cheapy, so expensive ones might be better, of course.
Here's an opinion pieceon World Net Daily. Farah mentions some things without documentation (i.e., that Phillips is campaigning for this change also, possibly because fluorescents are more profitable than incandescents--and I'd like to see mention of public or private records showing this).
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54815
Here's an NPR piece that mentions Gore asking Congress to ban the light bulb
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9072304
Monday, April 9, 2007
Alec Baldwin On The Global Catastrophe Of Global Cooling
I was in Cleveland these past few days for a quiet holiday period. I flew out of town on Sunday, April 8th. 32 degrees in Cleveland. On April 8th. People walking around in winter coats. This is undeniable proof that Man-Made Global Cooling is going to kill us if we don't immediately get rid of everyone who I disagree with politcally.
There is no spring in the East right now. No April flowers in April for the first time since 1877.
All around us are signs of global climate change. And this new Congress's response is to send Nancy Pelosi to Syria to speak for the Israeli Prime Minister. If you don't think there is a link between the weather and Iraq, you are wrong.
A Manhattan Project-esque assault on US energy policy is what is required now. Our country must lead the way in global energy strategies that will, somehow, convince countries like China not to spend decades to come burning trillions of tons of fossil fuels to grow their economies in the way we did. It is the most important work we can do now, on par with "fighting terrorism."
But this crowd will do nothing to begin that process. All they will do is ignore the meaning of the mid-term election and sprint in the direction of prolonging this war. Their goal, obviously, to pass this mess on to their unfortunate successors in '08.
Nancy has it all right. Time is up. And this is not a loss for Americans and their brave fighting men and women. This is Rumsfeld's War. And like McNamara before him, he will carry that burden on his shoulders long into our country's history. And if we have to put words in other leaders' mouths to force them into peace talks, then that's what we have to do, just like parents have to trick children into eating their peas.
A lot of talk about what the Dems should do now that they are at the wheel. Two people this Congress should not let up on. Rice, obviously. Can't let the opportunity slip away to persecute Rice for not trying to bring Syria and Isreali to the peace table. The other is Olmert.
This Congress needs to send a strong signal, and that is that obedience is important in politics. (Did Olmert really think that we could forgive him for not taking Nancy's lead in the talk for peace?) Olmert needs to go to the shed. For a very long time. Gotta get his mind, right. And when he comes out, ask him, "Are you going to obey Nancy? Are you going to obey your betters? Or aren't you?"
Thank God for Nancy.
Nancy Pelosi Tells Adolf Hilter That Churchill Is Committed to "Peace In Our Time"
Nancy Pelosi to Adolf Hitler:
"I have just spoken with Prime Minister Winston Churchill, and he has told me he is ready to open peace talks with you to avoidwar in our time. He pledges that they will not fight you onthe beaches, he will not fight you on the landing fields,he will not fight you in the hills... or in the streets. He willnever give up relying on peace talks."
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Store Ad Says Easter Celebrating Christ's Birth
I wonder what they think Christmas celebrates? LOL
A supermarket chain got itself into a huge muddle over the meaning of Easter yesterday in its attempt to sell more chocolate eggs.
“Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million on Easter eggs this year — but many young people don’t even know what Easter’s all about,” said the press release from Somerfield after a survey.
It then went on to claim that the tradition of giving Easter eggs was to celebrate the “birth” of Christ. An amended version changed this to the “rebirth” of Christ. Finally a third press release accepted Church teaching that Easter celebrated the resurrection of Christ.
A supermarket chain got itself into a huge muddle over the meaning of Easter yesterday in its attempt to sell more chocolate eggs.
“Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million on Easter eggs this year — but many young people don’t even know what Easter’s all about,” said the press release from Somerfield after a survey.
It then went on to claim that the tradition of giving Easter eggs was to celebrate the “birth” of Christ. An amended version changed this to the “rebirth” of Christ. Finally a third press release accepted Church teaching that Easter celebrated the resurrection of Christ.
Tacoma Bills Military For Anti-War Protest Costs
It'd be cheaper for the military just to shoot the stupid bastards next time. In a perfect world, Tacoma would be told either 1) bill the idiots (the protesters and their organizers, probably ANSWER, code pink, etc.) whose presence cost you the money, or 2) let them do what they want the next time so they end up in military courts and military prisons.
Tacoma police say last month's 12-day anti-war protests cost the city an unbudgeted $500,000 to provide a large-scale law enforcement presence.
The rough estimate covers overtime, regular compensation, equipment and food for hundreds of workers from Tacoma police and other agencies, Assistant Chief Bob Sheehan said.
The city plans to ask the Port of Tacoma and the military to cover some of the costs.
"That's a tremendous hit on our budget -- a half-million dollars of unexpected expense," said Tacoma Mayor Bill Baarsma, adding that the military would get the first invoice."I think our request is justifiable," Baarsma said. "I would expect that we would be reimbursed. I would be surprised if we weren't."
Tacoma police say last month's 12-day anti-war protests cost the city an unbudgeted $500,000 to provide a large-scale law enforcement presence.
The rough estimate covers overtime, regular compensation, equipment and food for hundreds of workers from Tacoma police and other agencies, Assistant Chief Bob Sheehan said.
The city plans to ask the Port of Tacoma and the military to cover some of the costs.
"That's a tremendous hit on our budget -- a half-million dollars of unexpected expense," said Tacoma Mayor Bill Baarsma, adding that the military would get the first invoice."I think our request is justifiable," Baarsma said. "I would expect that we would be reimbursed. I would be surprised if we weren't."
Naming Your Baby Metallica Not Allowed In Sweden
Other band-based baby names"
Nirvana (if it's a girl, it'll mark her as 'easy')
Iron Maiden (more interesting songs than Metallica, but not as good as a baby name)
Cream (dooms baby to sexual innuendo jokes for life, but gives you the option to name a sibling Coffee)
Jethro Tull (I know, I know. It's already been done)
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.
Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.
"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."
Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."
Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."
The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.
The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.
"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.
Nirvana (if it's a girl, it'll mark her as 'easy')
Iron Maiden (more interesting songs than Metallica, but not as good as a baby name)
Cream (dooms baby to sexual innuendo jokes for life, but gives you the option to name a sibling Coffee)
Jethro Tull (I know, I know. It's already been done)
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.
Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.
"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."
Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."
Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."
The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.
The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.
"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.
More Rosie Doubters.... the Fiends!!!!
Jonah Goldberg on Rosie's latest conspiracy theories
You may be unfamiliar with such psych-ward stylings [Jonah had just reprinted some of her "free verse text message poetry,"] but I get e-mail written like this all the time. Perhaps if you believe the jackbooted thugs are at your door, it’s reasonable to think you don’t have time to spell out your words.
...For the record, fire can melt steel, and buildings also collapse when heat weakens steel. But that misses the point. The point is we shouldn’t have to argue with crazy people.
Regardless, it appears that not even the heat of ridicule can weaken O’Donnell’s steely resolve to make an idiot of herself.
You know what? That’s fine. Normally we expect such outbursts from the poor souls who rage against unseen threats at bus stations and public libraries. But even the rich and famous have a right to mutter inanities, shout non sequiturs or shriek possum recipes.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Keith Richards Snorted His Father's Ashes
Stones guitarist mixed remains with cocaine — ‘it went down pretty well’
“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.
“He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said, adding that “it went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”
Richards’ father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.
Richards, one of rock’s legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.
“I was No. 1 on the ‘who’s likely to die’ list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list,” Richards said.
BBQ Tax: To Help Fight Global Warming
This might be a parody story, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't stay fictitious for long. They can stab two hated activities at once here; using fuel and eating animals.
Belgium to impose tax on barbequing to fight global warming
12:27 03/ 04/ 2007
BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) -
The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported. Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.
The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills. Scientists believe CO2 emissions are a major cause of global warming. [HERE ENDS THE STORY]
If the "GW Crowd" have their way, this would be just the beginning. I'd already made up a list of 'ridiculous' measures to take to prevent Global Warming, and this story gave me a good reason to list some of them.
1. Mileage Taxes if you go over a mandated number of miles per week or per trip. It will be fun "saving up miles" to go and visit your grandparents.
2. Meat Tax. Bovine flatulance is killing the earth. But more tractors plowing more fields for vegetarians won't be a problem.
3. Product Distance Tax. Every product will be taxed on the distance it travels from production to consumer... transportation is killing the environment.
4. Odometer Reporting Service. The ORS will become as hated as the IRS, as citizens will have to report how far they've driven their cars. (same as Mileage Tax above, but I just thought of the ORS idea and am too lazy to rewrite that entry).
5. Internet Usage Tax. Yes, sending emails takes energy, which is mostly provided by coal power plants in the US. And sending attachments takes more energy than text only emails. I heard a while back that to send a 2Mb attachment in 2001 or 2002 took a pint of gasoline, but I haven't found that information again. Don't consider this to be accurate until I've dug up that old article. But the important thing is... how much energy could we save by limiting citizen's internet usage? "Net Neutrality" be damned.... the Internet Usage Tax is what will kill the internet (or at least kill people's ability to use it as much as they want to).
And on down the road....
6. Each car trip must have a "Driving Plan" filed with a government agency stating reason for trip, estimated time of departure and return, and the expected route. If you stray from the shortest route and get caught, you'll be in big trouble for emitting too much "carbon" into the air.
Belgium to impose tax on barbequing to fight global warming
12:27 03/ 04/ 2007
BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) -
The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported. Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.
The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills. Scientists believe CO2 emissions are a major cause of global warming. [HERE ENDS THE STORY]
If the "GW Crowd" have their way, this would be just the beginning. I'd already made up a list of 'ridiculous' measures to take to prevent Global Warming, and this story gave me a good reason to list some of them.
1. Mileage Taxes if you go over a mandated number of miles per week or per trip. It will be fun "saving up miles" to go and visit your grandparents.
2. Meat Tax. Bovine flatulance is killing the earth. But more tractors plowing more fields for vegetarians won't be a problem.
3. Product Distance Tax. Every product will be taxed on the distance it travels from production to consumer... transportation is killing the environment.
4. Odometer Reporting Service. The ORS will become as hated as the IRS, as citizens will have to report how far they've driven their cars. (same as Mileage Tax above, but I just thought of the ORS idea and am too lazy to rewrite that entry).
5. Internet Usage Tax. Yes, sending emails takes energy, which is mostly provided by coal power plants in the US. And sending attachments takes more energy than text only emails. I heard a while back that to send a 2Mb attachment in 2001 or 2002 took a pint of gasoline, but I haven't found that information again. Don't consider this to be accurate until I've dug up that old article. But the important thing is... how much energy could we save by limiting citizen's internet usage? "Net Neutrality" be damned.... the Internet Usage Tax is what will kill the internet (or at least kill people's ability to use it as much as they want to).
And on down the road....
6. Each car trip must have a "Driving Plan" filed with a government agency stating reason for trip, estimated time of departure and return, and the expected route. If you stray from the shortest route and get caught, you'll be in big trouble for emitting too much "carbon" into the air.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Top Ten April Fool's Day Pranks
From BreitBart.com, a list of the top ten hoaxes as listed by the Museum of Hoaxes in San Diego (The best hoax is the fact that the San Diego hoax museum is actually in San Mateo ;-)
From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.
Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.
-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.
-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.
-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.
-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.
Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.
-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.
-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.
-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.
-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.
-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.
-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.
From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.
Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.
-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.
-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.
-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.
-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.
Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.
-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.
-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.
-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.
-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.
-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.
-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.
UK Police Go After 11-yr-old Boy For Calling Classmate Gay
Police send four police officers after boy, 11, who called schoolmate 'gay'
The boy says he used "gay" as a synonym for "stupid," which is the new slang.
Who knows if that's the truth or not... be either way, sending four bobbies after an 11-year-old? That was meant to send a message to remind everyone else not to commit such thoughtcrimes. Of course, regular old crimes are perfectly fine. The boy's father:
"I've constantly contacted police about break-ins at my business and never get a suitable response.
"George was really upset, he thought he was going to be locked up. This just seemed like a huge waste of resources for something so trivial."
By LIZ HULL - Last updated at 10:44am on 2nd April 2007
When two policemen turned up unannounced at Alan Rawlinson's home asking to speak to his young son, the company director feared something serious had happened.
So he was astounded when the officers detailed 11-year-old George's apparent crime - calling one of his schoolfriends 'gay'.
They said primary school pupil, George, was being investigated for a 'very serious' homophobic crime after using the comment in an e-mail to a 10-year-old classmate.
National Review Online's Jonah Goldberg says, "Maybe if the [Iranian] hostage takers could be tricked into calling Blair gay, we might see some action?"
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